Thursday, September 15, 2016

Cheers





















Not that I need any excuses to have a beer or two, there are those of you who do need an excuse, or a reason to justify taking a drink.   Try these: 

"Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." - Babe Ruth

"If all you had to look forward to was sleeping with Lady Bird you'd stay drunk too." - Lyndon B. Johnson

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - Paul Horning

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?  I think not." - H. L. Mencken

"When we drink, we get drunk.  When we get drunk, we fall asleep.  When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.  When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.  So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" - George Bernard Shaw

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." - Dave Barry

Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.! - W. C. Fields

Remember "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. - Professor Irwin Corey

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.  Salvation in a can! - Leo Durocher

One night at Cheers (TV Sitcom), Cliff Clavin said to his buddy, Norm Peterson:
"Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.  And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.  This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members!  In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.  Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.  But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.  In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine!  That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Cliff has point…


Friday, September 09, 2016

WHY???















Okay, class, here is the question… WHY?

Why can’t I post anything here?  I post all kind of shit on Facebook, but not here.

Why is Facebook more important than my blog?  I am here every day, sometime two or three times a day, to check on the awesome bloggers on the port side.

Why aren’t all of you on my Facebook friends list?

Why are y’all still posting on your blogs instead of Facebook?  Both types have stupid rules and laws.  Is it because you can post larger post with the ability to post more than one picture and place that picture where you want it to enhance your story/blog?  Makes sense to me, I guess.

Why can’t Facebook have a highlight or a BOLD option?

Why doesn’t blogger have a LIKE button so you can let someone know you have been there but didn’t feel the need to comment?

And most of all, WHY AM I EVEN POSTING THESE DUMBASS QUESTIONS?  The collection of questions seem to answer the whole WHY question.

Okay, I’ll go now.  Continue with what you were doing. (In Navy speak, that is Carry On).

  

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Observations Of Old Age




















It has been awhile since I’ve posted anything, so I thought I would throw this one up just to let you know I am still around and that I do drop by daily to read the peeps on the left side blog roll.  Sometimes several times a day.  So I hope you get as big a kick out of these as I did.

THERE IS NO SENIOR DISCOUNT FOR READING THIS---

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my age, I don't really give a rat's as anymore.

Things I have noticed and figured out… If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.  A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.  A rabbit runs, and hops, and only lives15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run, and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.  And they tell us to exercise?  I don't think so.

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.
8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my butt.
14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
t15. It is not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth..
17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.  I go somewhere to get
something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".
18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
20. Have I sent this message to you before... or did I get it from you?


Oh well.  This will do it for a while… or sooner.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

VV Day 2016


















Today, March 30th, is Vietnam Veterans Day in Georgia. 

Some states celebrate 29 March as their welcome home date.  And some (AR, HI, KY, MI, MS, NE, NV, UT, WY) do not even recognize the date at all.  Hell, even Puerto Rico celebrates the day on 30 March since 2009.  And what's with Hawaii?  Many vets spent R&R there with their girlfriends, wives and family.  Take the money but stay PC.

It has been 44 years since we (the US) pulled out of that beautiful shit-hole of a country.  Over fifty eight thousand young lives lost because LBJ and Congress didn’t have any balls, yet our men and women fought bravely and honorably only to come home to ridicule, though I have yet to meet a man who was actually spit on – not to say it didn’t happen.  Just not as often as the public seems to thing.  They did get dirty looks and some comments, but no spitting.  And the worst only came if there was a demonstration outside the airport, which rarely happened.

But no matter which day the states choose, every day is Welcome Home Vietnam Veterans Day for me.  Especially for the 299 survivors of the USS Frank E Evans.

Thanks, guys, and welcome home.



Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Golfing Quotes


























Golfing has its own language and descriptions.  Comments and excuses are pretty unique, too.  Here are a few for ya…

1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead
2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett
3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray
4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. ~ Mickey Mantle
5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner
6. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis
9. Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino
10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson
11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny
12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan
13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus
14. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~ H. G. Wells
15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham
16. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope
17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman
18. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon
19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Kids Before The 70's



















TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE

1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's!! 


I am blessed to have been raised during the late 40’s and 50’s.  It was a great era for kids to grow up, playing outside with no fears of being abducted and using commons sense.

First, we survived being born to some mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.  And, we weren't overweight.  WHY?  Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.  After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. 

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. 

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.  Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.  Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.  They actually sided with the law! 

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.  We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.  


Kids now days protest and destroy property if they don’t get what they want or demand.  And they do it because they never learned to deal with problems or simply because they can with no danger of punishment.  Nope!  I am glad I was raised during the great days of the USA.

If YOU are one of our generation, CONGRATULATIONS!

While you are at it, forward this to your grandkids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents and grandparents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?